I am the type of woman who wears headphones in public so as to minimize interaction with others because the thought of casual talk makes me feel awkward and lacking confidence. Not to mention, the anticipation of small-talk situations can deter my focus and drain my energy. I can recall growing up as a child and avoiding sitting with company by seeking solace in the downstairs living room. I simply enjoyed my own company the most. I used to think it was because I was “shy” but now I realize it is because I am introverted by nature.
The challenging part about being an introvert is that I absolutely cherish community, connection, and I have an eagerness to learn about people as humans. It almost seems counterintuitive when I think about it: how can I create meaningful relationships when the thought of human interaction in its most basic form makes me feel uneasy? There are a few different ways I have learned to use the strengths of my introversion to get the best out of communicating with others over the years. These include: empathy, listening, self-care, and purpose.
By empathizing with others, it has helped me to be more open. I can transform any kind of small talk to a full in-depth conversation if there is common experience and mutual desire for solutions. Empathy is what connects us human to human, irregardless of titles or rankings. By empathizing with someone, you are validating his/her sense of being and creating a sense of belonging, which thereby lightens the load of any conversation.
I also seek to listen to others with the intention of understanding them fully. This gives me time to reflect and I often find through listening, people will reveal who they truly are. This practice of non-judgement allows us to connect authentically without feeling compelled to do so and creates a safe space for engagement.
As mentioned above, I still relish in my own company regularly. This seems to energize me to clearly communicate with others everyday. I try to do things that will benefit my health and vitality on a daily basis so as not to feel drained by the compounding effect of interactions. If you think about it, we have hundreds of conversations in a day verbally and in other expressive forms. This can create a lost sense of self when you are “on” all of the time. If you only have an hour to yourself in your day, you are best to fill it with what makes you feel empowered and at peace. For me, this includes: exercising, listening to music, writing, going for walks, or listening to podcasts. Interestingly, as an introvert, I do not crave quiet. I crave movement. I crave melody. I crave expressive creativity. If you do not have an hour to yourself, then I strongly recommend you wake up an extra hour early or goto bed an extra hour later to devote time to your vessel.
I have always said that I am an “introvert with an extroverted love for humanity.” For as long as I can remember, I have always felt like it was my purpose to serve others within my capabilities. I have come to find that where my introversion excels is in leading others to solutions to improve their growth, health, and well-being. As an introvert, I seek meaningful connections and there is nothing more meaningful than having the opportunity to help transform someone’s life. When I am in such a space, my ability to communicate becomes more creative, free-flowing, and passionate. When I am living in my purpose, I speak from my heart, and that is a language that everyone can connect with.